Exactly two months ago, my mom passed away after a 2 1/2 year battle with ovarian cancer. Two months feels like an eternity and an instant at the same time. I haven’t spoken much about my mother’s death online for a million reasons, but with Mother’s Day this weekend, it seems only appropriate to share.
These are the words I spoke at her funeral:
Today I’m here not to say goodbye to an amazing and inspiring woman, but to say thank you.
The older I get, the more I realize what an amazing gift it is to have parents who believe you can be anything you want to be. And not only did my mom believe that, but she made sure that Melissa, Timmy, Jordan, and I had every opportunity we could to become whatever we wanted to be.
Growing up, my mom took us to everything. Swimming. Gymnastics and dance. (Even the boys.) Sports. Games, practices, meets. She even occasionally let me skip school to go to painting class with her. She always put our interests, hopes, and dreams before her own.
And it wasn’t just us. I can’t tell you how many other kids my mom drove to and from practices and events, because she believed that every kid needed love, support, and encouragement.
And it didn’t stop when we grew up. A few years ago when I had a stress fracture in my foot, my mom drove me to Ohio to help deliver my art to an exhibition. And she drove me to countless shows and sales too.
What amazes me most is how capable my mom was of still pursuing her own life and interests while supporting us kids in a growing list of endeavors.
My Mom’s passions were many, and she taught us to love and respect them, but didn’t force us into them. As a result, we all developed a diverse group of interests that are distinctly our own, but can all be traced back to our mother.
My mom was equally at home in a museum or a painting studio as she was watching a soccer or basketball game, as comfortable traveling in the city as she was bird watching at the beach.. As a result, she instilled in us the ability to not only adapt to our surroundings, but to fully immerse ourselves in whatever and wherever we were at the moment.
The most important gift my mom gave us was not a love for her many passions, but an glowing a example of the kind of person we should be. My mom was stubborn, direct, passionate, and never afraid to be herself. My mom was the ultimate model of how to be a strong, confident person, and for that I am truly grateful.
And so today, I’m not here to say goodbye to my mon, but thank you. Thank you, mom, for always supporting us, and for being the ultimate model of how to live life. I won’t say goodbye, because I know you live on in every person in this room, but especially in Melissa, Timmy, Jordan, and me.
what a beautiful person your mother was. this is incredibly touching- and so exquisitely written. I am really sorry to hear about this Megan. You are absolutely right about how your mom lives on in all the meaningful work you do. there is no doubt about that. my thoughts are with you. I’m glad you shared this here. we can all only hope to be as strong as your mom.
Megan, so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom, but you’ve honored her and it’s inspiration for me to be that kind of mom to my daughter.
Thank you for sharing. You and your family will be in my prayers with such a great loss. We need great examples of motherhood and confident women and I am encouraged and challenged by your mom’s example.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thanks you seems a very appropriate thing to say to such a wonderful and supportive mother. I thank you for writing this post because just this afternoon I was questioning whether my jewelry business was ruining my family. My husband was there to reassure me that in fact it was helping my daughter (3yo) to discover her own likes and creativity. Reading your post I can see how it isn’t a bad thing to have my own interests and passions.
Thanks and blessings
Megan, I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 5 years ago to cancer and I still miss her everyday. Just know that with time the pain and grief get better…but it takes time. She sounds like an amazing woman and you carry that with you. Such lovely, lovely words Megan
Oh Megan. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your writing brought tears to my eyes. Your mom sounds like she was an amazing person.
What a perfect way to eulogize your mom; to thank her for inspiring you to be the best “Megan” you could be! Thank you for sharing your reading. I’m quite sure she was so very proud of you! I offer my condolences and share this grief with you as I, too, recently lost my mom. How blessed we were to have had extra-special mothers, who no doubt shaped us into the mothers we have become. Let’s honor their memories by passing along that same legacy to our children.
Beautiful Thank you
I just happened to come across this post trying to get ideas on how to start writing what I’m going to say at my mom’s memorial service on Saturday. It will be exactly two months for us as well. Exactly how you put it, it doesn’t seem like it could possibly be two months ago already but it also already feels like forever ago. My mom also passed away after a long struggle with cancer. They are pain free together now. I don’t know if this heartache gets any easier but I just keep telling myself she wouldn’t want me to be sad when remembering her. I just still feel so raw. Thank you for sharing. Big hugs
Liz – thank you for sharing as well. I can tell you that the day to day heartache does lessen over time, but that I still (and will always) miss my mom like crazy. She was an incredible woman (as I’m sure yours was as well) and I know that the best way to honor her is to be the woman she taught me to be. Hugs to you too.
It’s 3:33am and my moms funeral is in 10 and a half hours from now. There hasn’t been a eulogy done in any newspaper, nor have I tried to put together words to express my feelings about my mom in any way! Finally the parlor posts the ceremony online and I woke at 3:00 wondering what to say or add to all of this.what do I want to say later today at the service? Well Megan I found you first. My condolences to you and to all of you that are grieving. But thank you for sharing your thoughts. I started out looking for a prayer to begin the online post for comments and condolences to help comfort or appreciate the friends and family thinking about writing ..you have helped with the inspiration and am very happy to have this site posted and available at any time of day or night so I can do just what I am right now. Looking for words,feelings and in hopes not to be a wreck at this! Thank you! Bless you! CLZ 7/12/14
BARBARA LEE NEMBACH 12/25/1936 7/7/14 mom I love you! Tina 7/12/14 RIP
That was beautiful, my mum is 59 and is losing the fight to ovarian cancer, she has been fighting hard for 27 months. It’s so tough and now the funeral talks have begun. I just don’t know how I’m going to get through losing her, she is everything to me and my children.
Thankyou for sharing that. And I’m so sorry for your loss.xx